Wednesday, October 20, 2010

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts...

But not really. It has been a very very long time since I last posted and that is a very sad thing. I am once again sitting in my art class. I've noticed thats where I seem to do most of blogging. I've also noticed that I never say anything of real importance but I'm not sure that's a big deal.

I did learn something though. Crying out side of a maze on a cold night at a boyscout event is not a smart idea. It's a very good way to catch a cold. But it is a good way to learn that you have very beautiful eyes after you cry. Yes. I sobbed like a small child for almost half an hour because of some idiot and that was just the straw that broke the damn. [Yes I know that's not the correct expression but I don't care] I sobbed on my friend's shoulder because I needed to. I had been bottling up too much for too long. My fears, the hurts I've suffered the past few months, the shattered dreams, Just the general pain of the last few months. After crying and shaking cuz it was stupid cold out I was informed that my eye's are a beautiful shade of green. Strangest thing that has been said to me in a long time. I was flattered but startled by the mild strangeness of it all. But yea. Thats the lesson for this blog post. If that can even be called a lesson xD

I'm currently proud of my self though, I've gotten back into writing and I'm loving it. It's such a good feeling to write something and to have people give comments on it. Very fantastic =]

I don't really have anything else to say right now. I might later we'll see.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Bombing a test!

So I've had writers block the last few months and I've finally started to get out of it. So I did a meme of sorts. The way this worked was I put my itunes on shuffle and had to write something based on the song. The time limit was the length of the song once the song ends I stopped writing. It was fun but kinda hard. So here....Um yea xD

Show me love – T.A.T.U

Love is a funny thing, you think you need it and once you have it you forget everything. You want to think that you'll never get hurt and once it ends you can just go back to how you once were. Then you realize that you can't. That it's all in the past and then suddenly you start craving that madness again. You want someone to show you that it's okay, that you just made a bad choice. That it was a one time thing, but it's not. It's all a game that goes on and on and on. You can't escape it. You can never escape it. You want it, you need it. It becomes a sickness that you want a cure for but at the same time never want to be cured. It's a cycle you can't break. You want it so bad, that it just hides inside your heart and waits to strike again when it can. You want to be shown that it's real and not a lie another person told you.

Stamp on the ground – ItaloBrothers

A stamping pounding sound, almost like a heart beat. A random need to jump up and dance. To throw your hands in the air and kick up your feet. A need to do something out of the norm. To do something fun and insane. You get lost in the sounds and turn the music up louder, you escape in side your head to a place where your the king. Where life isn't holding you back, your holding the cards in this place where there is nothing to show the passing of time except for the beating of the drums. The need to move your body and laugh grows stronger as the song continues to play. You can't help the stupid smile that spreads across your face as you act out on those impulses you just go. You feel amazing and wonder why you don't do this more often. The beat gets inside and stays there, and keeps pounding long after the music ends.

Friend or Foe – T.A.T.U

I think maybe I really did care for you once but now I don't know. I don't even know where I stand with you! We used to talk all the time and tell each other that we cared and would always be there. All of those words have disappeared. All caring gestures have disappeared as well. I can't tell if we are friends or if we're strangers now. I can't get a word from you, you wont tell me! I'm lost, we used to be so close and I thought it would never end. Can this damage be fixed or is it gone for ever? We used to know each other! I never questioned if you would ever become a stranger to me or not. I used to know that you were a friend and that we cared.

All the things she said – T.A.T.U

So many things were said, some in anger some not. It doesn't matter anymore does it? They can't be taken back. All of the things I said swirl in my head, I can't help but think that they tied me down. If I had never said anything thing I would still be free wouldn't I? But I said those things because you wouldn't say anything! I'm so lost, is it my fault? Why did this happen? Was it my words? Your words? Or the feelings we both shared, was that was caused us to say what we did? Can we ever forget those words? Have we gone crazy? Did we cross some line that has cost us our sanity? Or is it just me who is so effected by all the things we said.

Monster – Lady Gaga

I am a monster, I let you crawl into my life and take it over. I should have listened when they told me that you were bad news, that I would just get hurt by you. I was lost in your lies and in your eyes. You had me hypnotized, I thought I would be okay and that I would still have my heart when and if it ended. I was so wrong, you sunk your claws in and didn't let go. I lost my mind to you. You hurt me then moved on, you played it off so skill fully. Making sure that you destroyed me first then moving on to make sure that you didn't get hurt. I wanted something simple that wouldn't hurt to get out of, but you monster. You kept me from that and played me. You played me with a sweet little smile and kept the game going.

Clowns (Can you see me now?) - T.A.T.U

Ah the joys of being a third wheel, hiding feelings, not letting people know that your hurting and you want nothing more then for them to look up and see you. You want them to stop hiding their eyes and skipping right over you. You want people to see you and realize that your a person with feelings and secrets too. That your just not the happy go-lucky person you pretend to be. You want them to stop talking like your not there. You need them to see you and stop the pain you feel. You need them to see you, it stopped being a want a long time ago. It's become a burning need for them to see you and love you. You need this.

Going down in flames – 3 doors down

I'm done with you and your lies. I was there for you this whole time. I don't care anymore, I'm done. You don't care, you can't even be there to catch me when I trip what happens when I fall? You wont be there! This is just a game to you! I don't need you to tell me how to play it! I can figure it out, I don't need an experts help I can do it just fine. I don't need your help ever again. I'll catch my self. Lord knows your gonna need me at some point and I wont be there to help but I don't care. I'm falling down.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Why kiss the feet of the people who kick you?

First off the title is from a song that is currently my theme song. I can't remember the title right now cuz my brain is go boom! [yes I meant that] I'm sitting in my university class and I really hate this class. It's boring as hell and doesn't keep my attention very well. Plus I currently feel like my head is stuffed with cotton. It hurts basicly. ugh. Seriously not fun!!! UUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

I want this class to be over so I can go home and sleep or something. I probably have to make dinner and take Paddy to Sax tonight. Ew. Not fun!!! uggggggghhh Serious dislike..... I've just realized that I really have nothing to say about anything today. Not even my normal useless rambling. It's just not happening today. TT-TT That makes me just a lil bit sad. **sniff** Gross. Maybe I'll have something to say later.